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it takes all my strength not to dig you up from the ground in which you lay  

For all the times I’ve broken off a little bit of my heart and tucked it into the pocket of a pretty boy, you’d think I’d have nothing left. But I am sitting here in the dark with slick cheeks and a raw throat. My hands are bloodied and my knees mangled. Once again.. all over again, I’m hurt. There isn’t any other way to put it. I am hurt. I am sad. I am just a human being. For once, I am only human. Naked and vulnerable. When the wind blows I am cold and when it rains I am wet. Fire burns and I bleed when cut open. You’d think with all the rest who meant miles and oceans more, this one would be easy. “Just a pinch.” But he is my breaking point. He is my proof that I will never measure up. I will fall short with everyone and everything that I do. Somewhere back in my dysfunctional little head I knew all along. Attempt after attempt. Boy after boy. All failures. And now I kiss another summer goodbye with pain and disgust.