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it takes all my strength not to dig you up from the ground in which you lay  

where fact and fiction meet

The miracle was answered and my body broke down somewhere around noon. Hands trembled, aimlessly chasing the smile. And every crack on the surface of my being filled with panic, like waves taking down sand cities. And so I crouched in a dark theatre, praying to all the static that maybe I would be okay and my lungs went flat. You’d like to think I’d be standing at the top, battered yet content because I found him, but I am shaken and anxious. I’d like to sleep away the heat and the doom of falling short every time.